


Oh ye, beneath life's crushing load

by IllyanaA



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst with a touch of fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Shameless Holiday Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-23
Updated: 2019-12-23
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:34:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21916081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IllyanaA/pseuds/IllyanaA
Summary: It's been a hard year. Between his deception, Satine's death, and Ahsoka's departure, his relationship with his Padawan has been wholly damaged, perhaps beyond repair. In this reality, Obi-Wan sets about to spend a lonely holiday, but he has every intention of keeping the traditions they had begun all those years ago.
Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker
Comments: 10
Kudos: 240
Collections: SW Especially Satisfying Stories





	Oh ye, beneath life's crushing load

**Author's Note:**

> Shameless Life Day fic + angst.  
> The Jedi celebrate Life Day because reasons.  
> Unbeta'd. All mistakes are mine.  
> Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa, and everything else to all who celebrate, and Happy New Year!

Life Day was shaping up to be different this year. The Temple boasted its usual decorations: garlands and orbs strung along the halls, patterned after the rest of the Temple’s design that was meant to encourage meditation and reflection. It would be easy, he supposed, to consider the light from the orbs, or sit at the base of the tree that stood in the Room of A Thousand Fountains, reflecting on life and the roots that connect every living thing. He remembered the first time Anakin had seen it. The carefully grown and groomed wroshyr tree stood at a fraction of its natural height at just over 4 meters, but Anakin had marveled not only at the trimmings, but also at the fact that trees like this existed. The child nearly fainted when he had told him that they averaged between 300 and 400 meters.

That first Life Day after Qui-Gon had been difficult, but Anakin had eagerly joined in the Remembrance ceremony. They spent the rest of that night sitting at the base of the tree, wrapped in Obi-Wan’s cloak, and sipping a hot apple drink that was native to Obi-Wan’s homeworld. Anakin had insisted they establish their own traditions for the following year, and he had fallen asleep where he leaned against him, in the middle of telling him how they could combine elements from Tatooine’s annual festival with Life Day.

He let out a sad sigh. How long ago all of that was. Now, his Padawan rarely spoke to him outside of assignments. They hadn’t fully healed from Obi-Wan’s deception—no matter how many times Obi-Wan attempted to apologize, explain, beg forgiveness—and now Ahsoka’s departure was his fault, too. He tried to tell him that he had defended her, fought for her, but his mere presence on the Council was enough for him to be damned with the rest of them. In truth, he wondered if he could have done more, said something different, pushed a bit harder, but in the end, it had been Ahsoka’s decision. He chose to respect that. Anakin saw it as the latest in a list of betrayals.

The Jedi Master picked up another decoration—these were thin, wooden strips bearing Huttese script; words that contained wishes for the New Year—and hung it on the little tree that sat on the small table in his apartment. Anakin had insisted they have a tree of their own and with painstaking effort, painted the words he chose on each strip. Every year after that, they would decorate together: Anakin would take away food from the cafeteria and Obi-Wan would heat up the classic hot cider on the small heating element. They would take turns placing the ornaments, considering the meaning of each one they picked up. They hung the orbs of remembrance last and would share a moment of silence before resuming the evening’s festivities. The Eve of Life Day was a time between them that he treasured, before the two of them would join their brothers and sisters for the Remembrance ceremony on the day itself.

Not this year, it seemed.

He hung the orb he had made for Qui-Gon, followed by the one Anakin had made for Shmi. This year, he added one for Satine. The last piece would go on the top of the tree. Unorthodox, perhaps, as the top of the tree was left open to symbolize eternal growth, but it was their tradition. He picked up the small star, welded from different metals with the inexperience hands of a child. Anakin had made it that second Life Day to say “thank you” for helping him get closer to his dreams of Jedihood and to see every star.

He ignored the wetness in his eyes as he turned the small trinket over in his hands. He longed for simpler days: when the galaxy was at peace, when joy came easier, when little hands would be here with his, hanging decorations on the tree. He would never have guessed that his relationship with his Padawan would end up like this, their deep bond nothing more than a tool to win them victories. When the war ended, he feared it would be the end of their partnership, too. The bond would close; their connection would wither away into a fraction of what it had been.

No matter. He hoped wherever Anakin was tonight—and he had a fairly good inclination—that he could find a few hours of joy, a respite from the cruelness of the war. In light of everything, he deserved that much.

Obi-Wan started when the door to his quarters slid open, to reveal one Anakin Skywalker, dinner in take away containers in one hand, a small bag in the other.

“I don’t smell cinnamon! You haven’t started the cider yet? Master—” He cut himself off, teasing tone dying as he stepped through the doorway. He noticed the mostly decorated tree. His eyes darted between the star in his hands and the accursed moisture in his eyes. “Master?”

When he trusted his voice, he said, “I…I didn’t think…with everything…”

“You thought I’d leave you alone for Life Day?” His shoulders slumped. He set the food down on the table, and the small bag beneath. “I know things are…that we’re…Master, I’m sorry. We, uh, we still need to talk about everything, but I—tonight is special. _This_ is special. I just want us to forget about everything, okay? For tonight?”

“I’d like that very much.” With a small nod, he tied the small star to the top of the tree and blinked the tears away. Anakin took a wrapped item from the bag on the floor and set it beneath the tree. He opened the containers as Obi-Wan pulled out the ingredients he had gathered with the smallest of hopes. He smiled when he caught Anakin stealing a meatball from one of the takeaway boxes. The boy gave him an exaggerated shrug and handed his Master a sweet roll as he settled on the small couch. Comfortable amusement settled between them, and Obi-Wan felt Anakin’s mind brush his. It wasn’t…it wasn’t perfect, but it was something. Something to at least build a bridge over the chasm between them, if it couldn’t begin to fill it in quite yet.

He handed Anakin a cup of cider, and Anakin handed him the plate he had made for him, and they sat together on the small couch to enjoy their eclectic feast. They shared stories of Life Days past. Of fond memories and embarrassing escapades that left both in fits of laughter. At the end of it all, when the last cups of cider were empty, they settled back to look over their tree. Wrapping the largest blanket in the apartment around them, he leaned back against the couch and read over each word. Every one of them help deeper meanings now for both of them, but Obi-Wan’s eyes lingered on one word: hope. Hope for a peaceful galaxy. Hope for renewed relationships. Hope may be as hollows as fear, as the old adage said, but in this moment, he needed it to keep moving. So, he would hope. As Anakin settled against his shoulder, he clung to the word as he hummed, in soft tones, an old melody.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm facing my first Christmas abroad, away from my family, and needed to make Obi-Wan suffer a bit for comfort sake. This was born from those emotions and having seven hours of free time of work. =)


End file.
